It all began with a simple judgmental statement from me. I was totally convicted by the person I said it to. Granted, that person totally overreacted and caused more drama than necessary, but the cold hard facts are that I was wrong to say what I said. I found myself complaining about the drama that person caused and gossiping about that person and judging that person. Looking back, my "simple" judgmental statement caused the awful downward spiral of negativity.
Fast forward four days, I was enjoying an evening with my niece and her friend. My niece and I often blare Eminem in the car together. We know most of the words to a few of the songs and we are so proud of ourselves. It's quite ridiculous, now that I look back at my texts, but I literally texted a friend "No one would bug us...we are hard ass bitches blaring Eminem...we scare people." A few texts later I said this, "There are many sides to me that most people don't see...my affliction for Eminem is one of those." What?! Who is this talking?! What am I trying to prove?! As I tried to make it ok I said "It's just music..don't take it so seriously!"
This was the response I received from my friend, who just so happens to be a non-believer: "It's so NOT just music. When you spend money buying something he produces, you are tacitly supporting the fact that being a bad person pays out in society. You support it. You propagate it. You contribute to the degrading of our culture and the ignorance of our society. It's THE thing that SHOULD be taken seriously." (I fixed all his texting typos, of course, lol)
His response was so very convicting that it haunted me for days. Fast forward another four days, I had a few minutes left at the end of my lunch break so I picked up the book I've been reading and began the next chapter. Low and behold, that next chapter was Germ Warfare - Cleansing Our Lives of Cultural Toxins. Yes, God, I'm listening! Promise!!!
These are the lessons I've learned from the last couple weeks utterly FULL of conviction:
- Even a non-believer instictually knows what is right and wrong. (Romans 2:14-16)
- When I fail to focus on God, my thoughts become useless and negative. (Romans 1:21)
- Who am I to feel qualified to lead others while I continue to commit the sins I tell others not to. (Romans 2:17-24)
- I refuse to conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (Romans 12:1-2)
- Actions speak louder than words. I can preach God's Word all I want, but living out God's Word is how I can really affect people.
Conviction....Reveleation.....ACTION: I am making a bold statement and recruiting all who know me to hold me accountable. No more complaining. No more judging others. No more gossiping. No more multiple personalities. If you see me living in a manner contrary to those 4 bold statements...convict me!!
"This is your life, are you who you want to be?"
This is my life, and who I want to be is who Christ wants me to be and I choose to live IN Christ.